Friday, July 25, 2014

Sleepover party

It's closing on midnight. I just finished a softball game where we were short two players and somehow I ended up leaving the safety of my right field to play shortstop for the game. My ankles hurt. I'm thankful to be horizontal, only to realize I am the parent in what quickly has become a labrador sleepover party.

My friends Mary Kate & Becky have left for a handful of days to visit family. Their five year old black lab, Oliver, has become the housesitting addition. So, yellow lab and black lab have played constantly, all day, shredding all but a single toy so that the living room appears to be an explosion of fluffy white clouds. Orion's toys thus far have held up--being well versed with tuck, chew, pull and tear. But here we are at the end of the day, piled into the peaceful meditation room at my friend's house, myself, Orion, and Oliver are anticipating settling down to sleep.

I quickly scan the room and opt to lift the meditation alter with tiny purple crystals up on to the bureau. I can see Orion deciding these crystals are really rock candy laid out just for him, and the peacefulness of my friend maybe not appreciating his thoughtfulness in cleaning up the leftover rocks. Next, I lift the book off the floor, so that we are now left with only a nyla bone, carpet and some magazines--I feel aptly safe in that if the magazines get "read" tonight, we will still have friends come Monday...

"Come on up!" I say, tucking my legs under the sheet. Up comes the black lab, stretching out along my body like a soft snuggle toy. I roll over and throw my arm over him. I'm teaching him what it's like to be able to cheat and go to sleep in bed with humans. Yellow dog is not such a fan of being replaced. Up he half hops and thinks, "What a great time to wrestle! It's dark, maybe Oliver won't see me..." (insert obvious issue with Oliver being camouflaged perfectly in black and my bright yellow dog sticking out like a sore thumb in the darkened room.)

 Suddenly my snuggle toy is moving all over. I'm getting paws in my legs, hot dog breath on my calves. The air chomping as one dog tries to chew the other over takes the peaceful white noise of the fan.

"Guys, we are trying to SLEEP here." I say.

No avail. Yellow one is giving a wookie soundtrack to this WWF. I pull their collars. "SLEEP. You've been playing ALL day!"

Round two bell must've rung because they're going strong. I feel an elbow to my ribs.


Round three starts up after both lay down and then the quiet black lab starts subtly rotating closer and closer to the yellow labs neck.

"Oliver," I say, "You're suppose to be the well behaved one. Don't egg him on. He will not stop."

I sigh. So much for training. So much for my two dog snuggle party.

Somehow I feel all of this was started because the yellow dog was jealous of an arm around a black dog.