Saturday, March 31, 2012


We go down to the basement to practice running without Orion trying to eat my hands or legs. I run by, he runs. I run by, he attempts to eat my knee. I pop him on the nose. Attempt number two, barking, attempt at ankle.
"Okay. Let's try something else," I say.
I have him sit in front of the dryer.
"Sit. Down. Stay."
He stays. I run backwards, then towards him. He stays for the backwards then as I approach he leaps up and runs crazy-dog, to where I just was and back.
"Nope. That's not what I meant."
I repeat.
"Sit. Down. Stay."
I jog backwards, jog forwards. Dog takes off butt tucked. I stand watching him.
"HEY! Get back here. That's not what I said."
He circles back.
"Sit. Down. Look. Leave it." I put kibble in front of him. I jog backwards, he snags the kibble.
I jog forward, he sprints away.
This is not working as I planned.
"Okay. Enough for today."
We walk upstairs. I sit down at my computer to type. Orion wanders by.
"Sit. Down. Stay." He stares up at me. His tail like a broom on the wood floor, swish, swish. I look down at him.
"You've gotten big," I say as I notice his body while laying down is much closer to the top of the table.
He grumbles.
"Good stay." I pass him a kibble.
At least we can do something successfully.
He wanders off to find my shoe.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

red handed

It's pitch black in the room save for the light of my computer. I hear a rustle. I am trying to ignore my over zealous dog as he prowls about my room, having been in his crate for my 12-9 shift. I want to check my bank accounts. Perfectly reasonable thing to do before going to bed. Rustle. Leap. Sixty-three pound lab lands on my side.
I guard the trackpad on my computer and allow his paws to rest on the keys. Mr. Skunk squeaks under his weight. Orion makes a jab for my glasses case. I shove the case under my pillow. He tries to eat the pillow.
"Orion, go entertain yourself."
He rolls off and overshoots to find himself falling to the floor.
I go back to budgeting.
Rustle. New kind of rustle.
I whip the computer screen around. The light illuminates a little yellow dog perched on my studio table digging for the bag of bones in the back.
He freezes. The blue light of the screen magnifies the caught-red-handed.
He saunters to the ground, bone bag swinging.
I get out of bed. Snag the bag, toss it up on the top bookshelf. Pull the desk chair to the middle of the room.
Back in bed, I tuck my legs in around my half ripped duvet cover from the boys attempts to dig to China.
"Come on. It's time for bed."
He moves on to chewing on my tupperware container.
C'est la vie avec ma chien.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Breaking Point

I reached a breaking point.
I called my mom.
I cried.
I parked the car.
Cried more as the noise escalated.
I sat in the back of the car with Orion to try and calm him down.
Then I went in and bought a bark collar.
Perhaps both he and I will live to be old together as oppose to dying in a car wreck brought on by craziness.

We're now home.
He is worn out.
He won't come near me.

It's tough.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Oh, no.......

"Okay, let's go over and throw this out," I say, scooping up his poo and heading across the parking lot towards the garbage can. Orion, runs ahead, blue halter, double collars, tail wagging. As I reach for the garbage, I toss the baggie in and Orion jerks backwards. In a horrific moment, I watch as his pinch collar releases and he backs up--freed. Frantically, I call him forward, "Please, there are cars Orion!" But instead he turns, the automatic doors to the grochery slide open and he's disappeared.
"You have got to be kidding me."
I fly in through the sliding doors myself, to see Orion ducking behind a tomato bin.
The leash is trailing behind me, swinging corners as I chase Orion.
"Oh look! A puppy!"
I round into the aisle in which Orion has looped down. A lady innocently watches, frozen by first the yellow dog, and next a crazed girl with a purple leash dragging behind her.
"SORRY!" I say as I nearly run into her.
"SORRY HIS LEASHE BROKE!" I yell behind me as his choke collar catches on her shopping cart tire and I continue running. Well if he slows to eat anything, I can probably pay for it. If he slows down to snatch something, that might be my chance...
Asile two.
"Oh! A dog!"
Asile three.
Asile four.
Oh for the love will no one stop him? He pauses for just a moment as he notices two people blocking his way.
I dive.
I catch him.
"Thank you!" I say to the one man who bent down, arms open.
I hook Orion on to his halter.
Maybe they'll think he's my service animal, I hope, as I cart him out on his harness. "Sorry," I say, to the people at the checkout.
"Oh it's okay, he's a cute dog."
The electric doors open to let us exit, happy yellow dog proudly wagging his tail. Crazy haired girl, toting behind.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Bennington, VT

Orion jumps out of the car. The cold air hits my face and I take a sharp intake of breath. I purposely left my winter coat in Ohio with the intent of picking up a new one in the no-sales tax world of New Hampshire. I'm very conscious of this poor decision as the 9:30 hour leaves Western Vermont anything but the warm 70 I left in Ohio. Orion? Phased? Hardly. He's out running as if his life depends on it across the empty college campus fields. Butt tucked, ears flopping, he couldn't be happier. He leaps like a bunny rabbit over the seven inches of snow. We have missed snow in Ohio with the mild winter, but here, Orion is up to his mid thigh and dips his head to shovel it through the light powder.
Thirteen hours in the car has translated nicely into numerous dog paths in the snow.
"Are you sure he can run around and no one will care?" I ask my travel buddy's old friend.
"Oh, we're starving for pets around here."
I watch as Orion flies across the field plowing into a girl hovering inside the inlay of a building.
"Oooh!" I hear a delighted voice embrace his exuberance, though I suspect she does not get the full chance to pet and drool over my cute dog because he's back flying towards me.
"Okay okay Orion! Come!"
He comes flying towards me, ears plastered back to his head with his speed. I laugh, scoop him up enough to catch his collar and hook a leash on him before a red head comes jogging out of the dorm towards us, "Oh puppy!" She quickly squats down, wiggling his ears and Orion reverts to his most charming self, licking her face, wiggling his butt. "This is my birthday present," she says and I let her soak in the dog pats and kisses before we turn to follow our friend into her own dorm.