"Orion, I will pay you to just let me sleep for a bit. If I don't sleep, I will be an ogre. I need to catch up on some zzz's." I stare down at the alert yellow puppy at my feet.
"Okay. Bribery." I move towards the living room, dragging my leg as little baby teeth have a death grip on my sweat pants. Step. Drag. Step. Drag. "You could let go you know." Step. Drag. Snatching the bag of pet store goodies, I pull out my secret weapon, Kong Filling. After consultation with my friend Nick, who happens to be the proud owner of a lab mastiff, this is the treasure to occupying the little dog's mind. I swoop down snagging the tiny pink kong--a rubber toy designed for labradors who chew everything to pieces. Apparently indestructible, I'd happily exchange the rubber toy for an hour of sleep, instead, I have to dodge needle teeth flying towards my hand with happy abandon.
Step, drag, step, drag, back down the hall, I fill the rubber gift of God, stick it near his nose that happens to be wedged in my sweat pant. Instantly, his ears perk up, he releases my pant leg, turning to follow the divine smell of "Kong Fill".
"Orion, you can eat anything in this room. Anything. Just let me sleep okay?" I say, tossing him the kong and rolling my exhausted self into bed.
Half an hour later, I feel toenails scratching my face. Whine. Whine. I peek an eye open. "You can pee on the plastic. I swear I'll be okay with it." I snap my eye shut. Whine. Whine. Ogre emerges, as I swing my legs over the bed. I feel Ogre bubbling up from my gut. My greasy hair spills over my face, adding an addition to the roll. Can't find my glasses. Step one. Trip. Step two, puppy teeth on my pant leg.
"Orion, NO BITE!" I grumble in a loud voice, stumbling across the floor.
I sigh. Ogre shrinks back to the dark hole.
I sit on the floor, Indian style so to keep my toes. Orion climbs into my lap.
"I know. I'm grouchy. Let me take a shower and I will pay attention to you okay?"