Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Terrible twos

I drop my stuff to the floor. The wind flops out of my sails.
"Seriously?"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
I don't even pat them. There are shattered dishes on the floor.
"ORION THOSE WERE'T EVEN MY DISHES TO BREAK!" I yell.
Cardboard is everywhere.
"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TEAR UP EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE?!"
"IT LOOKS LIKE A SHITHOLE IN HERE!"
I reach for the broom. I fluff out a trash bag.
I sigh.
I practice breathing in and out slowly so not to have the tears fall and the five foot eight self fall to the floor as well.
"Go. Get out of here. I need space," I say to them as I clean up the mess.
Water bottle is destroyed. The water bottle from my friend, that made me smile as I practiced drinking more water in the day. "What you need is to drink more water to get rid of those headaches." I take the recycle bin and I throw the whole thing in the recycle bin downstairs.
"I don't freaking care about the stupid recycling anymore. All you ever do is just get in there and make a mess out of it. I'm done with my house being a mess!"

Then we're outside. They're hooked around my waist.
"I HATE HAVING TWO JOBS! TODAY I HATE HAVING TWO DOGS! I HATE TWOS IN GENERAL!" I shout as we cross the road to where they can pee and I'm getting tangled and they are pulling me one way then another.
"AHHHHH!"
I realize anyone who hears me is going to think I'm nuts.
Right now, I've resolved, I am nuts.

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